Sweet Mother of God They're Dumb!

Quick, book a flight to Miami. Go ahead, right now, I'll wait.
Got your ticket? Great, now you will be able to wait in line for hours outside of St. Brendan's Church for your chance to catch a glimpse of your favorite Zombie-in-Savior and his never-been-laid mom!
OK , well, not exactly them- but shadows of them; well, not exactly shadows of them- shadows that kinda sorta look like what is widely accepted to be what they would look like if they actually existed and if you squint your eyes just right and.. oh yeah, you happen to be an idiot!

Yeah that sounds about right.

Video of the news report here. **Warning Explicit Stupidity**
My favorite part is when the woman interviewed (a teacher) clarifies that what she sees is the ADULT Jesus. ( I assume to clarify it from the 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus, newborn not even spoken a word yet, who is just sitting in his crib watching Baby Einstein videos learning about shapes and colors.)

Yes, I'm certain that your imaginary friendly ghost-god is making himself "appear" to you through shadows on a piece of cloth. I'm sure that, after careful consideration, he has decided that this is the most effective and clear way to communicate his ethereal shadowy goodness to you, his adoring sheep-like bipeds. Its a genuine miracle! Gather up your sick, crippled, and afflicted and head on over St. Brendan's Catholic Church to ask the Rorschach spot on the tapestry to intervene on your behalf. The idiocy abounds!

New ideas to pay for my medical school loans:

• I trowel some dog shit shit onto a poster board and randomly swirl. Those posters that have the slightest hint of a humanoid figure I auction off on: www.Iamahighlysuggestibleretardedbeliever.com claiming it is a miracle.

• I print up and sell t-shirts that say "I waited in line all day to see some shadows and all I got was this fucking t-shirt"

It's worth a shot.